


Lost and Found

by winglxss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x17 coda, 13x17: The Thing, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt!Gabriel, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14267691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winglxss/pseuds/winglxss
Summary: Gabriel is suffering the aftermath of his time in Hell with Asmodeus. Castiel helps him feel safe again.





	Lost and Found

Castiel has been through a lot with humanity. Life, death, love, and the utter and complete lack of logic  _ some _ happen to possess.

“You’re telling me,” he begins, rubbing his temples. “That not only is Gabriel - my brother who has been notoriously dead for eight years - currently alive and in this bunker, but Dean is in apocalypse world  _ alone _ ?”

“He’s not alone, he’s with Ketch.” Sam’s reply is short yet defensive. Like he knows how weak his argument is.

“Oh, because that makes it so much better.” Castiel knows he’s being “over-the-top” but he really can't help himself. He leaves for one week and suddenly Gabriel is alive and Dean opened a rift to another world in their living room. Sue him for being a little short.

The pair stop at the end of the hall.

“I apologize,” Cas begins.

“No, man, don't be sorry,” Sam interrupts. “Look, you're right, we should have called you before anything else. We should have let you know our-” Sam cuts himself off, looking irritated. “Dean should have thought this through first. But he didn't and now we’re stuck waiting, as much as I hate that.”

“Okay,” Castiel concedes. He may be annoyed but he can respect when pressing a topic is fruitless. “Okay, what about Gabriel?”

Sam shoulders slump. “He looks like hell, Cas,” he mutters. “Ever since we got him here, he’s been holed up in there, not moving, not saying anything. He just stares straight ahead.”

Cas sighs. He glances around Sam to see the door three down slightly ajar and the room beyond completely dark. 

“I’m unsure if I can do anything,” he admits. “Torture of this caliber can't be ignored easily. He may just need time.”

“I get that,” Sam says. “But I feel like if he’s less beat up, he’ll be more receptive to us?”

“While I see your point, I refuse to use him like that,” Cas asserts. “I don't want him to see himself as a tool to us.”

“And I get that,” Sam says hurriedly. “Just… I don't know, man, you're family to him. Maybe talking to you will make it hurt less?”

Cas weighs his options. While Sam did have a point on the phone - talking to him angel to angel may be what he needs to cope - he could just need space. However, it isn’t too much of a jump to assume that Gabriel “staring at nothing” isn’t exactly constructive. 

“I’ll speak with him,” Castiel says. “But I can't promise anything to come of it.”

“Don't worry about it, man,” Sam replies. “We’ll figure it out.”

Cas nods and Sam takes it as his queue to leave. As he rounds the corner, Castiel braces himself for what he may be about to encounter. With a deep breath, he walks the short distance to Gabriel’s open door and glances through the opening.

Gabriel looks more helpless than Castiel has ever seen him. He sits with his back to the bed’s headboard, his knees held tight to his chest. He is staring vacantly at the space in front of him, dull pain and fear haunting his eyes. The sight makes Castiel’s heart stutter in sympathy.

Sam had warned him against sudden sounds, so he clears his throat to make his brother aware of his presence. Gabriel still jumps as if electrocuted, eyes darting to the door like a frightened wild animal. Castiel holds his hands in front of him placatingly to calm him. 

“It’s just me,” he says cautiously. “You’re safe, Gabriel.”

Gabriel scoffs and turns his head back to stare at nothing; Castiel sees his eyes unfocus and sighs. 

_ He knows it’s me,  _ he thinks.  _ That’s a good start. _

“May I join you?” Cas knows he’s testing his luck but he feels obligated to try. Gabriel hesitates before granting permission in the form of a minute nod.

Castiel crosses the threshold, careful not to startle Gabriel. Upon reaching the bed, he climbs up, stretching his legs out in front of him with his back against the headboard. With the small space, they sit barely two inches from each other. He can’t help but realize this as the first friendly interaction he’s had with a sibling in years.

They sit in silence together, each in his own head. Castiel wants to help his brother but can’t fathom how. What Gabriel must have experienced… he doesn’t even want to imagine.

“You know, a lot has happened since you were on Earth,” he begins. “We stopped the apocalypse - obviously, as the world remains intact.” His attempt at levity is rewarded by Gabriel’s expression lifting minutely along with a microscopic smile. He takes the encouragement and continues.

“The leviathan were freed but we handled them. Sam and Dean told me about a world in which they were actors on a television show called  _ Supernatural.  _ We thought that was you briefly. The angel and leviathan tablets have both been destroyed and the demon tablet resides here. Dean took the Mark of Cain and was briefly a Knight of Hell. Lucifer had a child with a human named Kelly. Luckily, the child, Jack, takes after her. He is so kind Gabe, I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

Castiel looks to his left to see Gabriel looking more alive than he has since he was brought to the bunker. His gaze is still fixed ahead on nothing but there is a light in his eyes and a minute grin on his face. His expression is one of cautious peace rather than outright terror or emptiness.

Castiel takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“Brother, I can’t imagine the horrors you’ve seen. But I know how it feels to have your grace stolen from you and corrupted, used for evil.” He suppresses a shudder at the memory of Metatron drawing his grace out of his vessel and presses on. “The Winchesters are like family to me. I trust them. And we’re all here to ensure your recovery. Please, Gabriel, let me heal you.”

Castiel feels his brother tense next to him and wonders if he shouldn’t have gotten to the point so quickly. Maybe he should have added that they were animated two days-

His panic is cut off when he sees a sharp single nod from Gabriel. He breathes in deeply before slowly shifting so he is on his knees kneeling next to him. Gabriel’s legs are somehow clutched even tighter against his chest and his eyes have become even more panicked. Castiel manages a calm smile, hoping to placate him.

“Okay, I’m going to walk you through what I’m doing.” Castiel read once about how humans find knowledge comforting. Right now, when he looks at the man in front of him, he sees a scarred and broken human, not an all-powerful archangel. Perhaps the human approach would be most tactical.

At another tight nod, Castiel begins. “I’m going to lift my right hand with two fingers extended-” he does as he says he will, slowly, always slowly. “- I’m going to lean forward toward you-” Gabriel watches his movements as if he will need to defend himself at any moment. Castiel doesn’t want either of them to get hurt so he adds, “Gabriel, please don’t grip your wrists like that. Know you can defend yourself if need be; you are not in that place anymore. I will not proceed until I know you feel safer than you do right now.”

It takes merely a minute before Gabriel’s fingers loosen around his wrists. His arms are still crossed, but hopefully he doesn’t feel handcuffed anymore.

“Good,” Castiel says soothingly. “Well done. I’m going to continue healing you, okay?” He waits for the nod, this one slightly more fluid than the rest. He wishes he didn’t feel this trapped; he wants to take it all away. Gabriel is not only his brother, he is his friend. He is the only angel worthy of being family to Castiel. He wants to do this right.

“Okay,” he begins again. “I’m going to gently place two fingers on your forehead then send grace through you to heal your wounds.” He knows he is over-explaining the process - especially given Gabriel was the one to teach him all of this - but he made a promise to explain everything. 

Gabriel flinches violently when Castiel touches him but he stays where he is, with two fingers pressed softly against his forehead. Once it’s apparent he won’t move away, Castiel begins healing him. 

He watches as split skin mends itself over his face. He cringes when the stitches surrounding his mouth are forced from his lips and fall to his lap. It is the second sound Gabriel has let out since Castiel entered; a small whimper of pain. Castiel keeps his grace steady, searching his entire body for abrasions. His ribs pop and crack back into place, the bruises on his organs are dispersed, and the breaks, fractures, cuts, and grit over his feet are smoothed. After one last check, Castiel moves back.

Gabriel’s face looks so similar to the last time Castiel saw him, that his heart clenches and twists in his chest. He is back in that gas station, what feels like a lifetime ago, doubting his brother’s reality. And now is here, very real, and undoubtedly alive. 

He is as alive as he is hurt.

Castiel lets his gaze drop from his brother’s face after a careful moment of inspection. His eyes remain frenzied but significantly less so than when he entered. 

“Much better,” he says softly. He lets his hand rest softly on Gabriel’s shoulder. The thin fabric under his fingers serves as a harsh reminder, even to Castiel, that he is far from recovered. 

“I’m going to get you some clothes,” Castiel says. “We can burn these rags if you'd like?”

He doesn't expect a reply but the comfortably ragged silence weighs on him regardless.

With a sigh, he heaves himself off the bed toward the door in search of clothes. 

“Thank you, Cassie.”

It's so quiet, he almost thinks he imagined it. But when he turns around, there's Gabriel, hands restless in his exposed lap, and a tight grin on his face.

“You're welcome, Gabe.” His reply is solemn and so sincere they could both choke on it. “I missed you.”

The confession surprises him, but if it surprises Gabriel, he shows no sign. His eyebrow cocks and his head tilts. Pitying. Playful. Teasing. Familiar.

_ Can't miss something that was never gone. _

**Author's Note:**

> As is typical with this show, I fully expect that Gabe's PTSD is never going to be addressed again. So I wrote this mostly to make myself feel better about that. I hope it helps you too.
> 
> Huge thank you to Sam (wanderingcas on tumblr) for reading this and helping me get the courage to finish and post it. I love you.
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr! I'm @asexualcas


End file.
